Just a girl...expecting

I'm just a girl who has learned a lot about herself in the past several years. One somewhat surprising discovery was that I wanted to be a mom. I can remember as a kid thinking I would someday have kids, but somewhere along the way I had buried that so far down that I didn't know it still existed. Brendon and I were enjoying the carefree life of marrieds with no kids. It was really great. :) And then God unburied my hidden desire. The road to motherhood has been very bumpy and I have fallen a few times, but God didn't put me on a journey He hasn't prepared me to handle. He gave me the most amazing husband, family, and friends who let me stay there a minute and get my bearings and then encouraged me to get back up. He gave me the strength to pull myself back up and His Word to stand on when I finally found my feet beneath me. You see, when you go through tough times, no one can pull you up but you. It's a choice you make to stay on the ground and wallow in defeat, or stand up and continue on the path God has placed you on. Those bumps were two miscarriages that taught me more about myself and others than anything I have ever been though.  I learned how to be vulnerable and that it's not a weakness, but a strength. I learned to give people a break because you never know what battles they are facing that you don't see and they may not have found the strength to talk about. I learned that the loneliest experience of a woman's life is the loss of a child. It's so painful that you don't want to tell people, but at the same time you want to talk with someone who understands the pain...but no one really does. Not because women aren't having them, but because no two experiences are the same. I learned that God's Word is true and He will never leave us alone in our struggles. His Presence was there every second of every day. He didn't say much, but listened and let me cry on His shoulder. I learned that strength isn't in having it all together, but in the ability to adapt to the crashing waves of life and learn to ride the storm instead of letting it overtake and drown you. I learned that God really is my rock and I don't know how people get through these kinds of life experiences without Him. This is not the path I would have chosen for myself, but I wouldn't trade the two little lives that I carried and the life lessons they taught me for anything in the world. I am different...better.

Britt

P.S. I wrote this one, I think, shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Milla, but I wasn't quite ready to share yet.