Looks like we made it...to 5

I'm just a girl who walked down the isle and married the boy of her dreams, 5 years ago today. I married the most amazing guy...my best friend, Brendon Scott Sales. 11 years ago when he took me on our 1st date for my 21st birthday, I knew. We've pretty much been inseparable ever since. I feel a little lost when he's not with me. Not because he completes me or anything ridiculously sappy like that, but because he's the one I want to share the funny story with, or make the totally inappropriate comment to, or tell him how amazing the food was that I just ate, or just to lean my head over on his shoulder and say I love you...cause I do. We've had a few snafus along the way, but I don't think we've had it as hard as most couples. I guess I have 6 years of dating to thank for that! We knew each other pretty darn well before saying I do. However, dating, at least in our case, did not equal living with. That's a whole different ball game! I'll be the first to admit that I can be a "bit" difficult at times. I think he would disagree...with my using the word "bit"! ;) He never ceases to be able to make me laugh, even when I'm trying my hardest to be mad. It's one of the things I love so much about him. We disagree on quite a few topics and I hate to admit, but when I stop being stubborn and actually consider his point of view, sometimes he's smarter than I am. He challenges me and makes me defend what I believe. He's made me a stronger person and Christian. He's constantly reminding me that there's a flip side to every coin. I have never regretted one single moment or considered for a second that he wasn't the one. I KNOW God brought us together and he is using us to better each other. "Iron sharpens iron." I hope to spend the next 60+ years making each other laugh, enjoying the finest foods the culinary world has to offer, cause we LOVE to eat, and then running our hineys off cause we enjoyed the food too much, and because we enjoy our runs together, watching grown boys beat the snot out of each other as MMA has become our favorite sport, enjoying a week here and there sharing in the joys of being the greatest aunt and uncle in the world, HANDS DOWN!!, and the greater joy of sitting on the couch together and enjoying the silence after we've given them back, and this for sure...loving each other more than we did the day before. "I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend, I'm lucky to have been where we have been..." - Jason Mraz
Thank you, Brendon, for 5 amazing years of marriage and for loving me.

Lessons Learned

I'm just a girl who never wants to forget. As I have spent a lot of the day today, processing the events of the last 6 days, I am filled with a longing to keep the memories alive. I am sad in a way, but more grateful for all the time I spent with the wonderful man whose life we have celebrated over the last 6 days. I had the privilege of spending several summers with he and Mammy and learned so much from both of them. Pawpaw and I shared a lot of time together. A lot of which was in silence, or to the sound of the gravel under the tires of his Ford as we drove down the country roads with the windows down. We just enjoyed doing things together...no words necessary. He taught me how to raise cattle and then buy and sell them at the auction, grow a garden, fix a trailer, drink straight from the water well, eat a freshly picked watermelon,  and to really just enjoy the simple things in life. He taught me the importance of reading the Bible and going to church. He taught me to be slow to anger, as I never remember seeing him angry. He taught me that if you don't have something nice to say, don't speak. I never heard him speak an unkind word against anyone. I heard quite a few people say this week that he was a man with no enemies and everyone who met him loved him. I hope that the same can be said of me. He shared God's love and message with all who would open their hearts and listen. Never forceful, but always willing. He always had a song in his heart and you could either find him picking at his guitar or various other instruments or whistling a tune. Such a peaceful and loving soul and I am so proud and honored to have known and loved him as my Pawpaw. I will NEVER forget and until we meet again, will keep the song going. It may have a little different sound (he loved his southern gospel :), but the source is the same...Love.

Making the Most of It

I'm just a girl who wants to learn to make the most out of the life I've been blessed with. I was thinking about the saying that God will never give us more than we can handle and I've always thought of that in terms of difficult circumstances in life, but what if that applies to the good things as well? What if He is waiting to see how I do with what I have before He gives me more? Am I being a good steward with what He has blessed me with? If I'm not, then why would He give me more? Obviously, I'm not ready to handle it. Just like the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. The 2 servants managed the money they were given and doubled it, while the other servant hid his and the master took it away from him. "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." Matthew 25:23   I want to prove myself faithful with my Masters blessings. Not just with my finances, but in all areas of my life. I want to say with confidence, "Lord, you can trust me!"

Friendly Fire

I'm just a girl who wants to remember that I married and live with my best friend. It really hurts my feelings when Brendon tells me I'm not nice or that I'm negative. I think what bothers me the most is that it makes me examine myself only to find that he's right. I hate it when he's right! I don't know why I treat my other friends and even mere acquaintances so nice and friendly and then treat my best friend, the person who means the most in the world to me, at times like an enemy. It's not purposeful of course, but I allow my feelings to set the atmosphere instead of being intentional in my actions. I want to reign over my emotions instead of letting them control me. I want a home that is full of happiness and peace instead of complaining and negativity. I want our home to be a place that we both look forward to coming home to and spending quality time together. I think a sign of maturity is learning that you shouldn't always do what you feel, but instead, acting out what you want to feel. Fake it 'til you make it! Our emotions change like the wind and shouldn't dictate our actions. I think it's more important that I live out my Christian walk and show His love in my home than anywhere else or I'm just a hypocrite. God sent me this amazing guy who loves me and takes care of me and I want him to feel as loved as he makes me feel. In conclusion, I'm just a girl who wants to eat good and I have to keep the hubby happy 'cause he does the cookin'! ;-) I LOVE you Brendon Scott Sales!

Girl-Friend

I'm just a girl who wants to be a friend. If I'm being totally honest, I've never been great at making friends. I'm the quiet girl and always have been. It's way out of my comfort zone to open up to others and allow myself to be vulnerable. If I keep quiet I can maintain the illusion that I have it all together. I have been reading this amazing book by Pastor Amie called "When Women Reign" and came to the chapter about relationships and realized just how much work I have ahead of me to be the kind of friend to others that really impacts their lives the way God intended. I have to give myself credit for improvements I have made over the years, yeah me!, but I still have a long way to go. "Oh what a joy for women of God to have these kinds of relationships that encourage us, build us up, and help us become so much more than we could ever become on our own!" - Pastor Jill    I want those kinds of relationships in my life, and it starts with the relationship I have with myself. "We are our own longest relationship. And the relationship we have with ourselves is the port to which all other relation-"ships" find harbor." - Pastor Amie    "I am fearfully and wonderfully made;" - Psalm 139:14    He has placed in me gifts that are unique to me and He has placed people in my life to help me to identify and develop those gifts. And then He has placed others so that I can give those gifts away. "People are in your life for a reason, for a season or forever." - Deion Sanders    Relationships, whether with God, yourself or others are an investment. You get out of it what you put into it. I think everyone in my life is a divine encounter and connection that God has orchestrated for one reason or another. I want to make the most of each one and give to others what He gives to me. He is the ultimate example of what friendship should look like. I hope that I can allow my relationship with Him to be reflected in my relationships with others.

My Unstable Structure

I'm just a girl who wants to live a more structured and disciplined life. I keep a calendar and plan for the big things in my life while the everyday, the framework of my life, just happens willy nilly if at all. I have allowed the actual important things in my life to become optional. A weak framework with partial or missing pieces does not make a stable structure. I have a job and I think I'm pretty good at it, so there is one area of my life where this isn't an issue. I have the threat of unemployment if I don't plan to show up and do my job. I don't have that immediate threat if I don't read my bible or workout, but the fact is that the lack of doing either can be just as detrimental to my overall well-being as losing my job. I HATE to workout and that's an understatement! However, it comes down to more than just working out for a better body or for a healthier heart. Although I do want those things, it's the discipline that I want more. I don't just want it, I NEED it! Self discipline is a mark of maturity. "What we ever hope to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence." - Samuel Johnson I see this effortless pattern scattered throughout my life. From school, to piano lessons, to yes...even my spiritual life. I always wanted the end product without the practice and work it required. It doesn't mean I didn't accomplish anything in those areas, but I could have done so much more and be the better for it. I'm one of those people who refuses to read the instruction manual for new gadgets and I just want to get my hands on it and figure it out. While that will usually provide me with basic function, without the manual, I miss out on all the special features it can do. If I might for a moment compare that scenario to life without the Bible...life's instruction manual. Without reading, you can figure out the basics, but if you want all God has for you, you're gonna have to get in there and dig in. He has so much He wants to reveal to us, but we have to put forth the effort. I have to put forth the effort! If the inner framework is weak then when adversity comes, you crumble from the inside out. "I have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10 The abundant life is not always the easy life. It costs you self discipline and self sacrifice. It's not gonna just fall in your lap. The greek word for abundant is perissos which means excessively, superabundant in quantity, or superior in quality, beyond measure, superfluous. Who doesn't want an overflow in their life? Yes please!! I have found for most things in life, "there is more than one way to skin a cat." What works for one doesn't work for all. I can be as creative as I want to be in finding a way to make the less than desirable tasks in life more desirable with a hope of finding a passion for them. I actually want to be one of those people who can't wait to workout. I have scoffed at them my whole life out of jealousy. I want to be so riveted by the Scriptures, that I can't put it down and I have to keep reading. It starts with a plan and then sticking to it! Success is planned for and doesn't come about by happenstance.

My Everyday Life

I'm just a girl who wants to remember that worship is not about me. It's not about my needs and making me feel good, but touching Him and making Him feel loved and honoring who He is. I grew up in a musical ministry family and church music and worship were just a part of our family dynamic. It created in me such a love for praise and worship music and the presence of God that it ushers in. I never feel more connected to God than in singing and worship to Him. I have been guilty more times than I care to admit though of making it about what I get out of it instead of what He gets out of it. As we enter into a week of worship with our Sound Conference, my prayer is that we release the sound of true worship in that place that overwhelms God and touches His heart. However, it has to go beyond the songs we sing to Him and the music we create to exalt Him. Worship is a lifestyle. The arabic word ibaadah which translates in English to worship means obedience with humbleness. Walking in obedience to His word...that's true worship. I want my life and everything I do to worship Him. He loves the praise and worship that go up to Him in churches all around on Sunday, but it's the Monday through Saturday everyday life worship that blesses Him and opens His heart to bless us. "Really worship is simply love responding to love." - Pastor David Binion "And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." - 2 John 1:6 One of my very favorite worship songs says, "to worship you I live" and I now realize that means more than just longing to stand in church and raise my hands and feel His presence all around, but a life LIVED in worship to Him. These 4 days of conference are going to be amazing and life changing and we're gonna see miracles take place and people give their hearts and lives to God, but if we live a life of worship then that doesn't end with a conference. We can see the supernatural in our everyday lives. "I pour my love on You, my whole life belongs to You, I worship You completely unashamed, I give you my heart unrestrained." - "Unrestrained" by Calvin Nowell